Tears of Joy

The other morning in the cab on the way to the airport in Houston, staring at the flat city roads with no real curbs or drainage, I was struck with a deep ache for my uncle Robert. I have so many wonderful memories of visiting him and my aunt Sherry down there, and while I miss him up here in Missouri, it’s not the same as when I’m down there.

I probably would have given my left pinky at that moment just to smell him again. Yeah, I know smell, but that’s what I couldn’t get out of my head. And let’s face it, smell is a big memory trigger, and except after work or fishing, he always smelled very good. I was sad, but I didn’t cry.

While sitting in the airport I called up my cousin Rachel to wish her Happy Birthday. Her birthday is August 8, which is a great day to have a birthday I think. That morning her boyfriend proposed, in about the sweetest way possible.

This is Scott, his twin boys (Reese and Riley) and Rachel’s son (Liam) – so sweet!

Now this made me burst into tears. I was so happy, and I must have teared up for the next 5 minutes while people in the airport tried to not look at me, while trying to figure out if I was okay.

Missing Robert did not go away, and I carried it all day (and really carry it most days as we do when we lose loved ones). I got home and picked up Aubrey (after a horrible run by the way), and we had the best night playing and snuggling.

I let her stay up a little late so she could watch the end of the Gold Medal match of women’s beach volleyball… okay, let’s face it, she didn’t care, I just didn’t want to miss the last match while putting her to bed 🙂 ANYWAY! I, like most Americans, love Misty May Treanor and Kerry Walsh Jennings.

Misty May Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings – Gold Medal 2012

Their play is amazing and they are super likeable on top of all that. And when they won, I burst into tears again. Again, tears of joy. This time it was my 2 year old trying to figure out what was going on. I tried to explain to her that sometimes people cry when they are happy. The look on her face was fantastic (something like, “huh?”), and I realized it’s only with age that you cry with happiness.

As we get older we gather sadness, we lose people we love and face all kinds of trials and heartaches, but we also gather joy. I think this is why we don’t cry tears of happiness until we’re older. We gather joy upon joy, and these joys fill us to the brim and overflow into tears. It was a good day, because even though I miss my uncle immensely, I have him to miss and that is an irreplaceable joy.



One thought on “Tears of Joy

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  1. I think it is in loss that we learn the depth of joy……It is in the joyful moments of family that we ache for those who we knew would have enjoyed it with us in our bodily form. The Engagement was a big show of love and it filled us to the brim….and when we become too full with that joy, it must spill out….in tears. XXOO

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